just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
