What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
