I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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