well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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