so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
