Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
