I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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