Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
