we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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