Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want her autograph on my taint
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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