mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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