I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
