She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize