After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
are you so shy because you have an std?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
