Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have fence marks all over my body
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
