Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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