Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
