First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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