OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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