So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He did a backflip because drugs
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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