So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
