So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
