you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
