So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
