I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
