I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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