I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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