I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
