I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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