Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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