we're chasing vodka with high fives
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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