This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
