I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize