Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
