1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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