return my video game
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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