you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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