If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
