woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
