Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize