i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
