i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
