remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
