We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
