We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
