They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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