I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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