Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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