So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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