so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
