we made out on top of his cat.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
