I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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