i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
