Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
