dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
kristin has been a bad kristin
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
