She is in my trunk
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
