remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
