one two three fourrrrnication!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
