i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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