I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
