I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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