i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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