I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
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Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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