Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
