Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
