On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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