you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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