she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
