Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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